O.k. well I've been kinda quiet on the blog scene lately mostly due to computer issues. Donovan had to send in his laptop for upgrades and that left me with the computer in the basement that makes it hard to keep an eye on the 4 kiddos while being on the computer. Besides the fact that this computer is slower than sending an actual letter to all of you in the mail. This computer has a major flu virus or something. But I didn't want you to think we left and actually got to do something fun like go on vacation for spring break. Yes, we are here.
My other reason for not blogging is a health concern of mine. While hopefully nothing, it has been a consuming thing for me this week. Which I have contemplated writing about. But here it goes.
Last Sunday I found a lump on my breast. I went to the Dr. the next day who confirmed the lump and sent me for a mammogram and ultrasound. That did not show what the lump was. So Friday I went to a specialist and she also could not confirm what this "lump" is. She did a biopsy. And now we are waiting. And waiting. And praying. This coming Tuesday the pathology report will be back and I will go in for an appointment in the afternoon to talk with the specialist.
All of this is overwhelming at times, and other times I have a peace that surpasses anything explainable.....the peace that only God gives.
I am taking a bible study right now by Beth Moore. It is on the life of Daniel. Two weeks ago she talked about the fiery furnace.
She had us read Daniel 3:13-18 and in her study she had us consider 3 different scenarios when people of God face a fiery trial:
Scenario A: We can be delivered from the fire.
The dividend? Our faith is built.
Scenario B: We can be delivered through the fire.
The dividend? Our faith is refined.
Scenario C: We can be delivered by the fire and into HIS arms.
The dividend? Our faith is perfected.
God in his graciousness gave this to me, two weeks before I went through it. In her session (via video) she used the example of learning about a "lump." How in scenario A- You learn of the lump, God answers your prayer and for example the lump disappears, or it is something benign. God builds your faith.
In scenario B-You learn of the lump, the cancer is confirmed. You go through the trial, the chemo, and the radiation. You are alive. You go through the fire, and your faith is refined.
In scenario C- You learn of the lump, the cancer is confirmed. You go through the trial- But are delivered right into the arms of Jesus. Your faith is perfected.
She went on to say that of course from an earthly prospective Scenario "C" is the path of most resistance. Having a mom that died of cancer makes this all such a reality of what could happen. But for now I take one day at a time, and realize God does already know about this. He has a perfect plan. God is NOT surprised by this, he knew about this before I was ever born. So I'm choosing to trust. I sometimes need the voice of a friend and a prayer, and somehow God has had that person call just at the right time. To walk through it with me and pray for me. To keep it in perspective for me. I have today, it is a gift. We all have that gift of life for today. We are not guaranteed tomorrow...not any of us. So while hopeful for a good outcome, I am reminded of the preciousness of everyday.
Thank you to my friends and family for praying with me.