Saturday, November 24, 2012


I felt so bad this morning as I woke up and realized I had so many prayers being lifted up for me yesterday and went to bed last night without ever telling you the results of my MRI.  SOOO..I hope that you saw Donovan's post on facebook and saw what we found out. 

I started my day yesterday at 4 a.m. and worked up until my MRI at 8 a.m. Donovan came to the Hospital "picked me up" off of the 3rd floor and went down to the main floor for the MRI.  I was thrilled that they let him come in to do the scan with me.  I didn't realize they had to start an IV to put contrast through me to see the liver.  I also didn't realize how much of my whole body had to be in the tunnel of the MRI.  I was under the impression that it would be just a little of my face when I was debating if I would want medication or not for claustrophobia.  But it was my whole face and I freaked out.  I like to think I'm a big girl now...but something about going into a tiny little hole with your arms over your head {to get a clear shot of your liver} and going into a cave-like extremely small space where you can't talk or move is a little over the top for me. 

I freaked out!  I had fleeting thoughts of running for the hills.  BUT I so badly wanted to know the results of this.  So I asked Donovan to pray for me.  And he did.  And as soon as he finished praying out loud, I asked him to pray again.  And he did.  It helped and within 5 minutes I could finally put mind over matter and relax.

So the MRI took about 45 min and it was a series of holding your breath and breathing slowly while holding very still and not talking.  All hard things for me...well, except for the breathing.  And actually not.  Because they had monitors on my breathing too...and if I relaxed too much that made my breathing shallow and I had to breath a certain way so that it wouldn't mess up the test.  I had headphones on so that she could give me the breathing instructions.

So after the test I returned to work.  My supervisor was more than happy to give me the whole day off, but I wanted to keep my little mind busy.  At lunch I went downstairs and the results were in.  Only it was a lot of medical terminology jargon that I couldn't very easily make sense of.  So I called my Dr. to see if she had the results and she could give me the down low.  Only she was with patients and the nurse took the message and I waited some more.  A couple of hours later...She called with the news that it was a hemangioma and cyst.  Both benign and both not harmful to me.   Praise GOD!!! 

I called Donovan and kept working.  Although I wanted to go down to the gift shop and buy myself some balloons and a Starbucks with some confetti to throw on myself.  If I could've I would throw the confetti on God. 

I got home from work about 6 p.m. to a table that was set by candlelight & hugs from all of my peeps and we celebrated what God did for our family.  When our supper was over the doorbell rang~ and it was the neighbor bringing over fresh chocolate chip cookies.  {I love God's timing}  And although I would've like to personally hug and/or call each and everyone that lifted/carried me through this time....I went to bed.  I was just so spent.  I'm sorry I didn't call any of you.  I was emotionally and physically exhausted!!  But am so thankful for friends and family.  This age of modern technology made it possible for me to feel so loved and cared for through the power of words and encouragement via facebook/email/texts. SO thank you!!!  God is good.  All the time.

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, to the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever!! Psalm 31:11-12 :: God is GOOD and ever so faithful! ::

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

turning off lies

Last I wrote on my blog I was expecting to go to work the next morning.  But....I woke up about 3 a.m. that morning and had some pretty severe pain.  That kept getting worse.  I was on the floor in pain and dry heaving.  It came in waves of pain in my stomach and in my back and then would ease up.  After about an hour of this...we went to the E.R. 

They diagnosed me right away as having a kidney stone and I was pretty sure they were right.  I had one 10 years ago when I was pregnant with Jack and thought at that time I was in labor.  It was so big that I could not pass it but rather had to have surgery in Ft. Wayne.  So I remembered the pain....and it was similar.  The E.R. doctor sent me for a CT scan to confirm what we both thought it was. 

And it was a kidney stone.  And it was 2-3 mm so it was small enough to pass. They sent me home with some strong pain medication, antibiotic, inflammation medicine, and anti-nausea medicine.  All that day, the pain stayed with me and I peed in a hat, then straining the urine to see if the stone came thru.  I never did find it...but the pain was 90% better by the next day.  I found out that sometimes the stone breaks down small enough that it can't even be strained.

I was so thankful to be up and feeling so much better by Friday last week, only 2 days later.  And then.........I got a call from my Doctor saying that the CT scan found a mass on my liver that they're not sure what it is.  And I need an MRI to see what it is.  Of course there are many things that it can be and I'm trying very hard to not focus on the negative or the worst it could be. 

Yesterday I worked my first shift on the OB floor.  It was a 12 hour shift and it was very BUSY.  It kept my mind busy and I loved the fast pace.  I think it's going to be a great place for me and a good fit.  Anyways, by the time I got home after getting up at 4:00 a.m. yesterday....I should've been tired.  I went to bed at 9:30 and my mind was just racing.  I was under attack.  Donovan prayed over me several times before sleep would come over 1.5 hours later. 

This morning I woke to an encouraging text that spoke truth into my life, sweet notes & cards all around my computer that reminded me of truth, and flowers on my kitchen window sill reminding me of prayers and love from a friend. 

I debated for 5 days whether to share this publicly or not, and after I had time to process this~I felt like I needed to.  I want to encourage you if you are going thru a difficult time some words that have helped me.  Here are various things from different friends and my pastor that have lifted me up. 

"Remember fear comes from Satan and thru Christ we are overcomers and we can overcome our fears!  God allows each and every "piece" of life to come our way for a purpose because He has a custom plan for you.  He wants to make something beautiful of your life even when you cannot see it even as you face confusion and hardship.  You can find purpose even benefit in adversity!!  When you cannot understand why God is doing something or not doing something God meant it for good and wants to increase your faith in HIM!!  When we go thru trials God uses them to refine us and its intended to increase our Faith in Him!!  God tells us not to worry....Matt 6:25-34 and put our home in him we need to walk in the spirit and not in the flesh." 

"He will keep in perfect peace all those who trust in Him"  Isaiah 26:3"

"May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; May the name of the God of Jacob protect you.  Ps 20:1"

"Romans 12:12  And I will be joyful with you in hope, join you in being patient in affliction & faithful in prayer."

And then our pastor preached on Depression last Sunday.  I never thought I was in "depression" about this....but I guess a little bit I have been.  He described it also as feeling like "grey slush" and with winter coming it's pretty common to feel the "grey slush" of winter blues.  This season gets pretty long in Indiana!  It seemed like Pastor Rick wrote this message for me.  But I know better....It was a message right from the lips of God.  Some of his key points were:
*We need to turn off the lies that we believe. 
*When we are at our weakest moment~satan feeds us the lies & discouragement. 
*We must plow through and tune out satan. 
*Christian life is NOT based on feelings but on FAITH.
*We need to focus on the good times and things God has done in our life.  (Psalm 42:4) 
*Let our memory banks rebuke what satan lies. 
*Train our minds to steer clear away from discouragement.  It takes discipline!!! 
*GIVE Praise to GoD!  Psalm 42:5 
*Self says, "you have every right to be depressed."  We have a choice: Stay there in the grey slush OR do I talk myself out of it? 
*When discouragement knocks don't let them in.  Demolish them!!! (2 Corth. 10:5)  
*Turn our discouragement into praise & turn our praise to GOD.  
*God does not promise no problems but to walk with us thru them. 
*We should expect's part of life.  And we should be equipped to handle it when it does come. 
Does that make sense to you?? It's notes and as fast as I can write...I was.  It all resignated to my soul with such perfect timing. 

And then my favorite radio station played this...and the words were again perfect timing for me.     

Need You Now

by, Plumb
Well, everybody's got a story to tell
And everybody's got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there's beauty here
So, I guess you're tired of holding on
I can't let go, I can't move on
I want to believe there's meaning here

How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.

Standing on a road I didn't plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I'm trying to hear that still small voice
I'm trying to hear above the noise


Though I walk,
Though I walk through the shadows
And I, I am so afraid
Please stay, please stay right beside me
With every single step I take

How many times have you heard me cry out?
And how many times have you given me strength?

I need you now
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
I need you now
I need you now

So if you are the praying type...I need you now.  Will you pray?  For this to be nothing.  IF not that God would give me strength to face whatever it is.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

working 9-5.....actually make that 0500-1730 {5:00 A.M. to 5:30 P.M.}

 So I started my new job.  Yesterday all day I had a General Hospital Orientation of fun things like their Mission, Values, Safety, Customer service, Injuries and policies and procedures. 
Today I went to a Nursing Orientation that talked about Medical Gases used in the hospital, Arrhythmia & Telemetry, Glucometers, Restraints, Code Blues, and other fun things and words that I teetered between knowing nothing about and having a small clue.  WOW!  SO much to know and learn. It's been a good experience so far and very, very sweet people that have been patient with me. 
I was so surprised & excited that the Training Coordinator of the Birthplace came to pick up me & 2 other new nurses yesterday to take us for lunch.  Awwww!!!  I loved feeling part of their family & well~ I do love free. It was so very sweet.  I noticed out of the 24 + new colleagues representing many different departments~ that we were the only ones picked up and taken for lunch.  Makes a girl feel special!!!      
Tomorrow I will start on the OB unit.  Yippee for babies!!!  So excited to start.  A little concerned for 12 1/2 hour days that will require me to be at the hospital at 5 a.m.  But thankful for the pay that comes with the training and my family that supports me and cheer leads for me from the sidelines.  My 12 year old told me on the first day, "Mom, I'm gonna be praying for you all day long today!" This journey has been a faith builder for them and me as we prayed for this opportunity and watched God open the doors. 
And now comes some changes at the ranch......

Like getting laundry done in the evenings, packing lunches the night before, and laying out clothes for the littlest one.  Because while their Dad has a great sense of fashion....He is absolutely is  overwhelmed by girls clothing options and accessories.  
 Six...count them six lunches for tomorrow!!!!  Some of them get hot lunch some of the time~However tomorrow's menu at the 3 schools caused some noses to wrinkle and some resounding, "uhhhh...No thanks."  Seems like they'd get sick of peanut butter and jelly and ham & cheese...but have at it.  I'll pack it again.  Especially when I have such a willing little Suzy helper pants.
So this is just a season.  Three days a week of 12.5 hour shifts for 6 weeks of training.  I shall keep telling myself that when I come home in a heap of overwhelmed tears tomorrow. 
After training I will be working 2-3 shifts every 2 weeks.  Which is more my pace & will suit my family just right. 
Quote of the day:
{this morning while combing Suzy's hair.}
Me: "Suzy...tomorrow Daddy will be combing your hair because Mom will be getting up very early and leaving for work before you are even done sleeping."
Suzy: "Oh good because Daddy let's me have my hair anyway I want."  and then she has a big smile. 
Not sure what happened to her but right now she thinks ribbons are "too dressy"~and not at all "Sporty"
I don't even like sports???!!!!! 
I've got some retraining to do!!!!!

Monday, November 5, 2012


They said, my Jack would probably not outgrow his seizures because of the type he has had and the location in his brain of where they start. But today we found out he's been on such a low dose of seizure medicine (2.9) ...the blood work indicates it wouldn't have even stopped a seizure {it has to be 4 or above to stop seizures}. All this to say....God says he did outgrow them. 3.5 years of taking meds is over. Praise to my Jesus for healing him despite what statistics say. Bring out the balloons~I'm gonna go do a happy dance depsite my stomach flu.

Friday, November 2, 2012

We're waiting on some more things over here.....

Last weekend we went to Indy for an appointment with Jack's pediatric neurologist.  Some of you know that Jack has had 3 seizures over the last 3 years.  In April he went for an EEG and we were hopeful that he would have this brain scan & it would come back normal (as in not showing brain waves that would lend towards seizures) and he would be able to go off of his seizure medication.  But it came back with these little waves that made the Dr. reluctant to take him off of his medication....esp. with going into summer, which means swimming.  Super big precaution with seizures...for obvious reasons. 
So he stayed on the seizure meds.  It has now it has been 2 years and 9 months since he's had one.  WITHOUT ever increasing his medication for that long.  Even though the boy has grown several inches and pounds!   SOOOOO....This is awesome.  He's been on a super low dose of medication this whole time.  And never had a seizure. 
I'm feeling like God has healed him of this.  Something we thought (because of what his Dr. said) he'd would not be outgrowing because of the location of the brain where his seizures start. 
But.....God's pretty amazing...and pretty awesome at doing what doctors say shouldn't happen.  Can I get an Amen???
So Jack had some blood work done on Tuesday.  And now we're waiting to hear back on how much of this medication is even in his blood. 
If it's under "4" then that means that it wouldn't even be medicinal should he have a seizure. 
SO......We're just waiting, hoping, and excited to see what happens with this blood work that comes back next week.
And hopeful that we can take him off of this seizure medicine that he takes 2 times every day!!!
 While we wait....I thought I'd show ya some pictures from overnight in Indy.  That rocked.  We got a hotel thru Priceline....and upon arriving at the hotel I asked the check in guy if we could please have a room with 2 beds.  Why yes, yes we could.  Thank you Hilton.  And this is what we walked into.......
 A room with a view on the 17th floor!!!!

 After we checked in we ignored the kids' persistent requests to go directly to the pool and headed out for a little site seeing and dinner.  Cheesecake Factory for us & McDonald's for the kids to be exact.  Which is another whole story on it's own. 
  Pretty sure we would've been the only guests on 17 floors of patrons that were eating Life cereal out of solo cups.  Sometimes we roll strong, sometimes we roll on economy.  {Shhhhh....don't tell the kids they still thought they were "livin' the dream" eating cereal on the couch while watching their own T.V. while we were in the next room of our suite watching our favorite shows.}
'cook' that morning
 After checking out we made a 1.5 hour trip to Turkey Run State Park.  Here I am rolling strong on economy lunch making.  Ham & cheese AND pringles.  Each child getting their own CAN of pop.  No sirree.....We didn't even make them share. 
 They look pretty much this way every time we break out food.
 Turkey Run State Park is one of the neatest places in Indiana.  If you haven't been gotta do it sometime.  Donovan and I hadn't been there for 14 years.  I wondered if the younger kids would be able to keep up....
 However we had to tell them to slow down.....over and over.  The above picture is a prime example.  Do you see my little 6 year old way out in front???
 It was a beautiful, cool afternoon for hiking. 

 Are we really in INDIANA???

So cool to be livin' my dream with my man.  Not always easy, not always fun.....I never want to come across as having perfect lives over here....but I tell you doin' life and family with this guy makes it as easy as it will ever be!!!  I love him & the children we have. 
And just a side note to by bloggy friends...I can't even tell you how much all of your support means to me.  So many many comments in regards to my last post....and I appreciate and enjoy everyone of them.  They encourage me and I love to hear from you.  Thanks for the nice comments and inboxes!!!  It's an awesome way to stay connected.  Love you guys!!!

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

the waiting game

Because I love my job of taking care of newborns & because I love to earn money....
I was becoming increasingly frustrated with my job.  Only because on average I am only getting called into work 22% of the time I was on call.  (And yes, I did that average all by myself....look at me and my math skills.  ha!) Most weeks I averaged being on call 30-40 hours.  So that = a lot of waiting/sitting around. 
I have loved my job.  I have loved some of the great friendships I have made at New Eden. I have appreciated all my co-worker's patience as I learned to find my rhythm of taking care of mama's after they give birth & my favorite was caring for the babies.  But I was longing for more consistent hours and of course the paycheck.
And then I talked to a friend that works at Goshen Hospital doing the same job as I do at New Eden.  And she told me there was an opening.
So I put in my application and waited and then waited some more.  I made 4 calls asking for an interview.  AND THEN almost a week later I got a call that they would like to interview me.  So I waited some more.  For the interview.  The interview went well....except for the Director asked me for a resume.  Which I did not make or bring.  I thought about it, but I had hardly anything to put on it.  Except for the fact I had worked at a birthing center for 1.5 years. And I was a mom for 12 years.  I was so mad at myself for not making one.  And somehow I kept hearing this small little voice saying, "I can do this all by myself.  I can give you this job.  Do you believe?" 
But the enemy kept pushing and making me feel like a failure, doubting anything good I had to think about myself.   
 And then I was asked to job shadow on the OB floor to see if I would "fit" with the night shift.  I like this concept of getting the opinion of the people who would work with you before the director hires you.  It's just a little un-nerving to be on this side of it....and hope that they like you better than the other applicants.  After the job shadow on Monday night of this week....I waited some more, to see if I got the job. 
And Monday I just about had it.  I wanted the job so bad.  Have you ever been anxious like that??? Just so hard to find peace because you're focused so hard on something?
And then I had me some Jesus time and He revealed some things to me.  Some big things that I had wanted over the years....He had said no.  And looking back over those times I had thanked Him for saying no.
This is the entry from my journal.  I share this not to bring glory to myself but in hopes to help you if you are going through a tough time of trusting.  Or if you are weighted down with something very heavy.  Writing it out helps me with my mind that wonders down about 1000 rabbit trails within any given hour of the day.
October 29, 2012
Dear Jesus, tonight I job shadow.  You know that!  I'm nervous, you know that.  I want this job so bad.  That you also know.  You know all my fears, thoughts, and desires.  I praise you for knowing me.  I pray that you will take this weight off of my shoulders, and let you carry it.  I want to rest in you and trust you...I just have such a hard time letting go.
Eph. 3:20 Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church & in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever & ever! Amen.
I WANTED to get married at 18.
You showed me your plan and true love when I married Donovan Jan. 3, 1998.  THANK YOU JESUS!
I WANTED to have a baby as soon as we were married.  (We tried for a year to get pg & couldn't)  You showed me your plan when we got the job @ the B & B in the winter of 1999.  {One of my dream jobs}  THANK YOU JESUS!
I WANTED a sister for Isabella, I cried when I found out I was having a boy.  You showed me a perfectly healthy sweetheart of a boy on June 15, 2002.  YOU WERE RIGHT.  I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.  THANK YOU JESUS!
I STILL WANTED a baby sister for Isabella.  You gave me William Lewis~The best sleeper baby ever on April 22, 2004.  I had 2 boys that could grow up to be friends.  I LOVE HIM.  THANK YOU JESUS!
I WANTED to move into a fixer upper downtown when our house sold in Millersburg the Spring of 2005.  But there was another offer before we could buy it.  But you led us to Uncle Dave & made it possible for us to build a brand new house.  I LOVED IT.  THANK YOU JESUS! 
I don't think you can always see full circle....but sometimes God reveals this to us.  And after this entry I could see that he has my best interest at heart even if I didn't get this job.
Finally I was at peace!
And after another 2 days of waiting for an answer.....I got a call this morning~And.....
 an offer to work at IU Health/Goshen Hospital.  This is an increase in pay for me, benefits, insurance, and many other perks.  Their average birth count is 100/month.  Which means about 80%-90% of the time you get called in.  After training I will be on call 36 hours every 2 weeks. 
{Which is three-12 hour shifts}
I owe all of this credit to my maker. 
And I thank you to so many of my friends who prayed for me.
And thank you to those of you who gave me recommendations who already work at the hospital.
So incredibly excited.  I got my picture taken today for my employee badge, and got all my benefits packages to look over.  So overwhelmed with this fun stuff. 
Things are done quite differently at a hospital as compared to a birth center~So I have a ton to learn....but blessed to be given this opportunity.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Baked Oatmeal

My favorite Breakfast dish. 
And actually my kids' favorite.
Although I bake it the night before and warm it up the next morning during the school year.  Well most of the year actually.....let's be honest I'm not a morning person. 
Baked Oatmeal
1 c. oil
1 1/2 c. sugar
4 large eggs
6 c. quick oats
1 T. & 1 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. salt
2 c. milk
2 Tbs. cinnamon
Mix oil, sugar, & eggs, beat with mixer on high speed until yellow and glossy.  Add remaining ingredients and beat until blended.  Pour in greased 9 X 13 pan.  Bake at 400 for 30-40 minutes. 
**Options: decrease milk by 1/2 cup and add 1 cup pumpkin.  Sprinkle with mini chocolate chips.
Also sometimes I serve this with Cheesecake vanilla sauce.....Which is 3 oz. box of Cheesecake or vanilla flavor instant pudding with 3 1/2 cups of milk.   
Easy & delicious.  Enjoy. 

Thursday, October 11, 2012

the money pit...otherwise known as the completed basement

Last winter Donovan started framing our basement.  Our objective was to have an area for the kids to run and play, watch movies with friends or play the wii.  The main living room was all that we are planning on doing for now.....possibly adding 2 bedrooms, an exercise room and bathroom someday much later down the road.  Evenings and weekends he put up a couple walls here and a couple walls there.....
Then he put up some drywall & before I knew it he had the mudding & sanding done and I was ready with paint, like the very day that he was done with the sanding, I had the paint bucket and brush ready.  Patient?  Yes, very much so. 
Here is the 1st coat of paint completed.
In February when the painting was complete, he put in a small section of wood floor for a future kitchenette.  (do you like the dust particles my camera picked up??)

And after a pinterest inspiration....we decided to go with some "car siding" for a picture wall. 

 And here it is today.  Completed!  Ahhhhhh carpet, lights, walls, the whole kit and caboodle.  Well, except for some cabinet doors.

The view from coming down the steps. 

The picture wall.
Some new prints but some oldies & goodies too.
This super long wall needed while in Florida last spring break I picked up this explore wall art.  Would love to figure something besides an old coffee table and legos to underneath it....maybe someday when we recover from all the $1000's of dollars we already put into finishing it.
A pinterest -- pin it & do it -- done.  boom. winning.  project.
That was super easy and cheap~that I'll blog about another day.

Another view.
Built in shelves on either side of behind the couch.  Not too shabby for his 2nd go at it. :) It was so great to unpack books and scrapbooks that have been stored away for almost 3 years.   

 On one of the shelves of the built in's....I am starting a sand collection of beaches we've been to.  Now if I could only remember to take containers of sand home with me from some of these beautiful places we've been to!!
And the built ins that are awaiting another $200-$250 worth of wood for doors and hardware. 

The view from the couch....looking towards the stairs {that is behind the wall on the right.}  And if you are ever confused about how to get out of the basement...Donovan installed an "exit" sign to help you.  A find from the Re-Store.  $10 well spent??? That's debatable. 
The floor that will someday hold a canning stove, frig, and small sink.  Until then Barbie and her friends live there. 

What a valuable space this has been.  We love it...even though none of the rooms surrounding this room are finished....this has been a great space to use. 

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

knitty pants

 Yesterday I caught myself holding back tears while sweeping.  Weird I know. 
I was just feeling the loss and a little sting of jealousy of a mother/daughter relationship I wish I had with my mom.  I guess it started yesterday at work when I was talking with a friend that mentioned the magazine her mom gave her because she was done with it.  My friend passed this magazine to me...and I was just a tad sad that my mom couldn't pass along magazines to me.  And I was wishin' I knew my mom at this stage in my life.  And I was wishin' that I could have a friendship with her.  A dangerous road to go down.  Most of the time I've grown to accept this part of my life.  Thankful for what time I did have with her before she died.  And it's been 24 years ago!  And then sometimes it hits me like a brick...while I'm sweeping the floor.  I was trying to get busy doing something to distract that road I was travelin' down of wishin' it was different.  And then I looked up and there stands Donovan who had walked in from work...and I didn't even hear him come in because of the sweeper.  (Good timing God!)  He gave me a hug and we talked. Man I love that guy!  I have so much to be thankful for...and yet the ache in my heart was so heavy. 
And then came today.  After a full nights' sleep I was feeling better and had this 180 degree turn around of thankfulness and gratitude.  Thanking God a million times over for this little lady right here.

Isn't she sweet?  A friend from church had asked if Isabella and I would like to go with her and her daughter to a knitting class they were offering at church tonight.
NOT IN 1 MILLION years did I think I would ever take a knitting class. 
But they were doing a class for beginners making scarfs. 
Well now you have my attention. I can now complete some pins from pinterest from my "Outfits I Love" board.  Boom.  Winning.
And although my friend couldn't make it because of her Grandfathers death~(So sorry for you Sarah!)
Isabella and I still went to pick out some yarn at Hobby Lobby and we went. 

 And I just had to thank God over and over for this little sweet pre-teen of mine.  She has a great, sassy, little, fun, sarcastic way about her. And I have no idea where she get's that from??  
 She's a hoot.  She had me laughing till my cheeks hurt with little lines like, "Well aren't you a little, fast, knitty pants?"  Is knitty even a word?
 Well anyways....Yep! You gotta know she was jealous of my beginning knitting skills.
What a turn around the last 24 hours has been.  Emotional? Yes! Thankful? Yes!  Grateful? Yes! 
Still wishin' I could borrow a magazine from my mom....but thankful for the promise that someday I'll see her again and so very, very thankful for the chance to have a mother/daughter relationship with 2 of the sweetest girls I could ever ask for.  I love you Isabella Rose & Suzanna Faye.