Wednesday, October 31, 2012

the waiting game

Because I love my job of taking care of newborns & because I love to earn money....
I was becoming increasingly frustrated with my job.  Only because on average I am only getting called into work 22% of the time I was on call.  (And yes, I did that average all by myself....look at me and my math skills.  ha!) Most weeks I averaged being on call 30-40 hours.  So that = a lot of waiting/sitting around. 
I have loved my job.  I have loved some of the great friendships I have made at New Eden. I have appreciated all my co-worker's patience as I learned to find my rhythm of taking care of mama's after they give birth & my favorite was caring for the babies.  But I was longing for more consistent hours and of course the paycheck.
And then I talked to a friend that works at Goshen Hospital doing the same job as I do at New Eden.  And she told me there was an opening.
So I put in my application and waited and then waited some more.  I made 4 calls asking for an interview.  AND THEN almost a week later I got a call that they would like to interview me.  So I waited some more.  For the interview.  The interview went well....except for the Director asked me for a resume.  Which I did not make or bring.  I thought about it, but I had hardly anything to put on it.  Except for the fact I had worked at a birthing center for 1.5 years. And I was a mom for 12 years.  I was so mad at myself for not making one.  And somehow I kept hearing this small little voice saying, "I can do this all by myself.  I can give you this job.  Do you believe?" 
But the enemy kept pushing and making me feel like a failure, doubting anything good I had to think about myself.   
 And then I was asked to job shadow on the OB floor to see if I would "fit" with the night shift.  I like this concept of getting the opinion of the people who would work with you before the director hires you.  It's just a little un-nerving to be on this side of it....and hope that they like you better than the other applicants.  After the job shadow on Monday night of this week....I waited some more, to see if I got the job. 
And Monday I just about had it.  I wanted the job so bad.  Have you ever been anxious like that??? Just so hard to find peace because you're focused so hard on something?
And then I had me some Jesus time and He revealed some things to me.  Some big things that I had wanted over the years....He had said no.  And looking back over those times I had thanked Him for saying no.
This is the entry from my journal.  I share this not to bring glory to myself but in hopes to help you if you are going through a tough time of trusting.  Or if you are weighted down with something very heavy.  Writing it out helps me with my mind that wonders down about 1000 rabbit trails within any given hour of the day.
October 29, 2012
Dear Jesus, tonight I job shadow.  You know that!  I'm nervous, you know that.  I want this job so bad.  That you also know.  You know all my fears, thoughts, and desires.  I praise you for knowing me.  I pray that you will take this weight off of my shoulders, and let you carry it.  I want to rest in you and trust you...I just have such a hard time letting go.
Eph. 3:20 Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church & in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever & ever! Amen.
I WANTED to get married at 18.
You showed me your plan and true love when I married Donovan Jan. 3, 1998.  THANK YOU JESUS!
I WANTED to have a baby as soon as we were married.  (We tried for a year to get pg & couldn't)  You showed me your plan when we got the job @ the B & B in the winter of 1999.  {One of my dream jobs}  THANK YOU JESUS!
I WANTED a sister for Isabella, I cried when I found out I was having a boy.  You showed me a perfectly healthy sweetheart of a boy on June 15, 2002.  YOU WERE RIGHT.  I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.  THANK YOU JESUS!
I STILL WANTED a baby sister for Isabella.  You gave me William Lewis~The best sleeper baby ever on April 22, 2004.  I had 2 boys that could grow up to be friends.  I LOVE HIM.  THANK YOU JESUS!
I WANTED to move into a fixer upper downtown when our house sold in Millersburg the Spring of 2005.  But there was another offer before we could buy it.  But you led us to Uncle Dave & made it possible for us to build a brand new house.  I LOVED IT.  THANK YOU JESUS! 
I don't think you can always see full circle....but sometimes God reveals this to us.  And after this entry I could see that he has my best interest at heart even if I didn't get this job.
Finally I was at peace!
And after another 2 days of waiting for an answer.....I got a call this morning~And.....
 an offer to work at IU Health/Goshen Hospital.  This is an increase in pay for me, benefits, insurance, and many other perks.  Their average birth count is 100/month.  Which means about 80%-90% of the time you get called in.  After training I will be on call 36 hours every 2 weeks. 
{Which is three-12 hour shifts}
I owe all of this credit to my maker. 
And I thank you to so many of my friends who prayed for me.
And thank you to those of you who gave me recommendations who already work at the hospital.
So incredibly excited.  I got my picture taken today for my employee badge, and got all my benefits packages to look over.  So overwhelmed with this fun stuff. 
Things are done quite differently at a hospital as compared to a birth center~So I have a ton to learn....but blessed to be given this opportunity.


RosyRose said...

Yay for God! Yay for your job! Yay for the answer Yes! :) You will do great!!Yay that you are my fellow colleague:)!!

Cottonista said...

I'm so glad for you!

Jewel said...

Oh, I am just catching up on your blog & this is so awesome! Praise Jesus!