Yesterday I caught myself holding back tears while sweeping. Weird I know.
I was just feeling the loss and a little sting of jealousy of a mother/daughter relationship I wish I had with my mom. I guess it started yesterday at work when I was talking with a friend that mentioned the magazine her mom gave her because she was done with it. My friend passed this magazine to me...and I was just a tad sad that my mom couldn't pass along magazines to me. And I was wishin' I knew my mom at this stage in my life. And I was wishin' that I could have a friendship with her. A dangerous road to go down. Most of the time I've grown to accept this part of my life. Thankful for what time I did have with her before she died. And it's been 24 years ago! And then sometimes it hits me like a brick...while I'm sweeping the floor. I was trying to get busy doing something to distract that road I was travelin' down of wishin' it was different. And then I looked up and there stands Donovan who had walked in from work...and I didn't even hear him come in because of the sweeper. (Good timing God!) He gave me a hug and we talked. Man I love that guy! I have so much to be thankful for...and yet the ache in my heart was so heavy.
And then came today. After a full nights' sleep I was feeling better and had this 180 degree turn around of thankfulness and gratitude. Thanking God a million times over for this little lady right here.
Isn't she sweet? A friend from church had asked if Isabella and I would like to go with her and her daughter to a knitting class they were offering at church tonight.
NOT IN 1 MILLION years did I think I would ever take a knitting class.
But they were doing a class for beginners making scarfs.
Well now you have my attention. I can now complete some pins from pinterest from my "Outfits I Love" board. Boom. Winning.
And although my friend couldn't make it because of her Grandfathers death~(So sorry for you Sarah!)
Isabella and I still went to pick out some yarn at Hobby Lobby and we went.
And I just had to thank God over and over for this little sweet pre-teen of mine. She has a great, sassy, little, fun, sarcastic way about her. And I have no idea where she get's that from??
She's a hoot. She had me laughing till my cheeks hurt with little lines like, "Well aren't you a little, fast, knitty pants?" Is knitty even a word?
Well anyways....Yep! You gotta know she was jealous of my beginning knitting skills.
What a turn around the last 24 hours has been. Emotional? Yes! Thankful? Yes! Grateful? Yes!
Still wishin' I could borrow a magazine from my mom....but thankful for the promise that someday I'll see her again and so very, very thankful for the chance to have a mother/daughter relationship with 2 of the sweetest girls I could ever ask for. I love you Isabella Rose & Suzanna Faye.