the waiting game

Because I love my job of taking care of newborns & because I love to earn money....

I was becoming increasingly frustrated with my job.  Only because on average I am only getting called into work 22% of the time I was on call.  (And yes, I did that average all by myself....look at me and my math skills.  ha!) Most weeks I averaged being on call 30-40 hours.  So that = a lot of waiting/sitting around. 

 

I have loved my job.  I have loved some of the great friendships I have made at New Eden. I have appreciated all my co-worker's patience as I learned to find my rhythm of taking care of mama's after they give birth & my favorite was caring for the babies.  But I was longing for more consistent hours and of course the paycheck.

 

And then I talked to a friend that works at Goshen Hospital doing the same job as I do at New Eden.  And she told me there was an opening.

 

So I put in my application and waited and then waited some more.  I made 4 calls asking for an interview.  AND THEN almost a week later I got a call that they would like to interview me.  So I waited some more.  For the interview.  The interview went well....except for the Director asked me for a resume.  Which I did not make or bring.  I thought about it, but I had hardly anything to put on it.  Except for the fact I had worked at a birthing center for 1.5 years. And I was a mom for 12 years.  I was so mad at myself for not making one.  And somehow I kept hearing this small little voice saying, "I can do this all by myself.  I can give you this job.  Do you believe?" 

But the enemy kept pushing and making me feel like a failure, doubting anything good I had to think about myself.   

 

 And then I was asked to job shadow on the OB floor to see if I would "fit" with the night shift.  I like this concept of getting the opinion of the people who would work with you before the director hires you.  It's just a little un-nerving to be on this side of it....and hope that they like you better than the other applicants.  After the job shadow on Monday night of this week....I waited some more, to see if I got the job. 

 

And Monday I just about had it.  I wanted the job so bad.  Have you ever been anxious like that??? Just so hard to find peace because you're focused so hard on something?

 

And then I had me some Jesus time and He revealed some things to me.  Some big things that I had wanted over the years....He had said no.  And looking back over those times I had thanked Him for saying no.

 

This is the entry from my journal.  I share this not to bring glory to myself but in hopes to help you if you are going through a tough time of trusting.  Or if you are weighted down with something very heavy.  Writing it out helps me with my mind that wonders down about 1000 rabbit trails within any given hour of the day.

 

 

October 29, 2012

Dear Jesus, tonight I job shadow.  You know that!  I'm nervous, you know that.  I want this job so bad.  That you also know.  You know all my fears, thoughts, and desires.  I praise you for knowing me.  I pray that you will take this weight off of my shoulders, and let you carry it.  I want to rest in you and trust you...I just have such a hard time letting go.

 

Eph. 3:20 Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church & in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever & ever! Amen.

 

I WANTED to get married at 18.

You showed me your plan and true love when I married Donovan Jan. 3, 1998.  THANK YOU JESUS!

 

I WANTED to have a baby as soon as we were married.  (We tried for a year to get pg & couldn't)  You showed me your plan when we got the job @ the B & B in the winter of 1999.  {One of my dream jobs}  THANK YOU JESUS!

 

I WANTED a sister for Isabella, I cried when I found out I was having a boy.  You showed me a perfectly healthy sweetheart of a boy on June 15, 2002.  YOU WERE RIGHT.  I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.  THANK YOU JESUS!

 

I STILL WANTED a baby sister for Isabella.  You gave me William Lewis~The best sleeper baby ever on April 22, 2004.  I had 2 boys that could grow up to be friends.  I LOVE HIM.  THANK YOU JESUS!

 

I WANTED to move into a fixer upper downtown when our house sold in Millersburg the Spring of 2005.  But there was another offer before we could buy it.  But you led us to Uncle Dave & made it possible for us to build a brand new house.  I LOVED IT.  THANK YOU JESUS! 

 

I don't think you can always see full circle....but sometimes God reveals this to us.  And after this entry I could see that he has my best interest at heart even if I didn't get this job.

 

Finally I was at peace!

 

And after another 2 days of waiting for an answer.....I got a call this morning~And.....

 an offer to work at IU Health/Goshen Hospital.  This is an increase in pay for me, benefits, insurance, and many other perks.  Their average birth count is 100/month.  Which means about 80%-90% of the time you get called in.  After training I will be on call 36 hours every 2 weeks. 

{Which is three-12 hour shifts}

 

I owe all of this credit to my maker. 

And I thank you to so many of my friends who prayed for me.

And thank you to those of you who gave me recommendations who already work at the hospital.

 

So incredibly excited.  I got my picture taken today for my employee badge, and got all my benefits packages to look over.  So overwhelmed with this fun stuff. 

Things are done quite differently at a hospital as compared to a birth center~So I have a ton to learn....but blessed to be given this opportunity.

 

    

 

 

Baked Oatmeal

My favorite Breakfast dish. 

And actually my kids' favorite.

Although I bake it the night before and warm it up the next morning during the school year.  Well most of the year actually.....let's be honest I'm not a morning person. 

 

Baked Oatmeal

1 c. oil

1 1/2 c. sugar

4 large eggs

6 c. quick oats

1 T. & 1 tsp. baking powder

2 tsp. salt

2 c. milk

2 Tbs. cinnamon

 

Mix oil, sugar, & eggs, beat with mixer on high speed until yellow and glossy.  Add remaining ingredients and beat until blended.  Pour in greased 9 X 13 pan.  Bake at 400 for 30-40 minutes. 

 

**Options: decrease milk by 1/2 cup and add 1 cup pumpkin.  Sprinkle with mini chocolate chips.

 

Also sometimes I serve this with Cheesecake vanilla sauce.....Which is 3 oz. box of Cheesecake or vanilla flavor instant pudding with 3 1/2 cups of milk.   

 

Easy & delicious.  Enjoy. 

the money pit...otherwise known as the completed basement

Last winter Donovan started framing our basement.  Our objective was to have an area for the kids to run and play, watch movies with friends or play the wii.  The main living room was all that we are planning on doing for now.....possibly adding 2 bedrooms, an exercise room and bathroom someday much later down the road.  Evenings and weekends he put up a couple walls here and a couple walls there.....

Then he put up some drywall & before I knew it he had the mudding & sanding done and I was ready with paint, like the very day that he was done with the sanding, I had the paint bucket and brush ready.  Patient?  Yes, very much so. 

Here is the 1st coat of paint completed.

In February when the painting was complete, he put in a small section of wood floor for a future kitchenette.  (do you like the dust particles my camera picked up??)

And after a pinterest inspiration....we decided to go with some "car siding" for a picture wall. 

 And here it is today.  Completed!  Ahhhhhh carpet, lights, walls, the whole kit and caboodle.  Well, except for some cabinet doors.

The view from coming down the steps. 

The picture wall.

Some new prints but some oldies & goodies too.

This super long wall needed something....so while in Florida last spring break I picked up this explore wall art.  Would love to figure something besides an old coffee table and legos to underneath it....maybe someday when we recover from all the $1000's of dollars we already put into finishing it.

A pinterest -- pin it & do it -- done.  boom. winning.  project.

That was super easy and cheap~that I'll blog about another day.



Another view.

Built in shelves on either side of behind the couch.  Not too shabby for his 2nd go at it. :) It was so great to unpack books and scrapbooks that have been stored away for almost 3 years.   

 On one of the shelves of the built in's....I am starting a sand collection of beaches we've been to.  Now if I could only remember to take containers of sand home with me from some of these beautiful places we've been to!!

And the built ins that are awaiting another $200-$250 worth of wood for doors and hardware. 

The view from the couch....looking towards the stairs {that is behind the wall on the right.}  And if you are ever confused about how to get out of the basement...Donovan installed an "exit" sign to help you.  A find from the Re-Store.  $10 well spent??? That's debatable. 

The floor that will someday hold a canning stove, frig, and small sink.  Until then Barbie and her friends live there. 

What a valuable space this has been.  We love it...even though none of the rooms surrounding this room are finished....this has been a great space to use. 

knitty pants

 Yesterday I caught myself holding back tears while sweeping.  Weird I know. 

 

I was just feeling the loss and a little sting of jealousy of a mother/daughter relationship I wish I had with my mom.  I guess it started yesterday at work when I was talking with a friend that mentioned the magazine her mom gave her because she was done with it.  My friend passed this magazine to me...and I was just a tad sad that my mom couldn't pass along magazines to me.  And I was wishin' I knew my mom at this stage in my life.  And I was wishin' that I could have a friendship with her.  A dangerous road to go down.  Most of the time I've grown to accept this part of my life.  Thankful for what time I did have with her before she died.  And it's been 24 years ago!  And then sometimes it hits me like a brick...while I'm sweeping the floor.  I was trying to get busy doing something to distract that road I was travelin' down of wishin' it was different.  And then I looked up and there stands Donovan who had walked in from work...and I didn't even hear him come in because of the sweeper.  (Good timing God!)  He gave me a hug and we talked. Man I love that guy!  I have so much to be thankful for...and yet the ache in my heart was so heavy. 

 

And then came today.  After a full nights' sleep I was feeling better and had this 180 degree turn around of thankfulness and gratitude.  Thanking God a million times over for this little lady right here.

Isn't she sweet?  A friend from church had asked if Isabella and I would like to go with her and her daughter to a knitting class they were offering at church tonight.

 

NOT IN 1 MILLION years did I think I would ever take a knitting class. 

But they were doing a class for beginners making scarfs. 

Well now you have my attention. I can now complete some pins from pinterest from my "Outfits I Love" board.  Boom.  Winning.

 

And although my friend couldn't make it because of her Grandfathers death~(So sorry for you Sarah!)

Isabella and I still went to pick out some yarn at Hobby Lobby and we went. 

 And I just had to thank God over and over for this little sweet pre-teen of mine.  She has a great, sassy, little, fun, sarcastic way about her. And I have no idea where she get's that from??  

 She's a hoot.  She had me laughing till my cheeks hurt with little lines like, "Well aren't you a little, fast, knitty pants?"  Is knitty even a word?

 Well anyways....Yep! You gotta know she was jealous of my beginning knitting skills.

What a turn around the last 24 hours has been.  Emotional? Yes! Thankful? Yes!  Grateful? Yes! 

 

Still wishin' I could borrow a magazine from my mom....but thankful for the promise that someday I'll see her again and so very, very thankful for the chance to have a mother/daughter relationship with 2 of the sweetest girls I could ever ask for.  I love you Isabella Rose & Suzanna Faye.