Tonight we had a scheduling conflict. I neglected to write on the calendar that I had mom's group tonight and Donovan also committed to playing in a volleyball game tonight. Filling in for a friends' volleyball team that needed one person as a fill in. My mom's group consists of my little friends and I meeting once a month to have a snack (supper-depending on who's hosting) and talk about parenting, relationships with our kids, etc. A great way to bounce things off of each other and vent too. I've been doing this with these ladies for about 6 years. I knew right away I couldn't throw a fit about needed time away/night out on this night...because he was playing volleyball with our friends on a league. Because really, how embarrassing would it be if my husband had to call our friends and say, "uhhh, my wife won't let me come out to play." And it was just a little late to get a babysitter to come and stay with the kids and put them to bed, baths, etc.
So the husband comes to me in the kitchen about an hour before it's time for him to go, after I cancelled my shin-dig and says, "wow, honey thanks so much for taking over tonight so I could go out tonight." I might have responded...."Really, Did I have a choice? Because I wouldn't want to look like a brat in front of our friends." Wow....He thought that I was doing it because I knew that he would enjoy a night out with friends, playing a sport he loves. I might have responded, "Really after 10 years you don't know me better that that?? " I just didn't want him to call our friends and tell them I wouldn't let him go. So here I go broadcasting it for the whole world I know. Somehow it's a sick pleasure I have to show people how human I am. But really it was hard for me. I feel like I need the time away even more than him. Because really.... doesn't he get to go away all day?? Donovan might have the argument that it's actually a little thing called "work" I usually respond..."uhhhh....but does that "work" include cleaning diarrhea out of panties?" Because that was my job description today. Also in the job description today... taking 2 small children with me to an eye Dr. appointment and then grocery shopping. Filling a sippy cup while on the phone, while driving. --Might have been an error in judgement on that last one. While I understand our job descriptions are very different...sometimes I just think he should think it's fun to come home and have a change of pace. And while I know it is fun for him to come home to us, I forget he needs time out with friends too. I'm sure he will be better for it. Better in the way of blowing steam off about his annoying wife, who hardly let's him go out to play. I know he gives me plenty nights away, please don't send me hate mail. I know I'm blessed. He esp. gave me many nights out during the newborn years of our children, when nursing felt more like a ball and chain rather than a bonding experience for me.
I'm just wondering how do you handle letting your husband out to play?
And P.S. Brooke...don't feel bad for one second. It's not personal one bit. He needed this time out....I hadn't let him out to play for years. He was thrilled, I know he's having fun.